Mr. Alcohol and Mr. Cigarette, my other two new friends.
Before I found the most appropriate way to dissolve the troubles, I chose a more extreme approach to reduce the pain by using alcohol and cigarette. It was not complicated when you meet some terrible thing and try to escape away from them, you need to numb yourself. It was also what I did during a hard time.
The target is challenging to be conquered, so I chose to drink and smoke every day with my friends after my works had been done. It was apparent to foresee, we drank a lot and said some useless words, then drank a lot and smoked contentiously.
My life was full of decadence and despair at that time.
I have to admit that the nicotine helped me a lot. Every time I feel depressed and have no interests in anything, I can have short periods of brain space because of alcohol and cigarette, I can forget some terrible thing and leave this world behind.
But it was not an excellent way to help me get rid of the emotion. On the contrary, alcohol and cigarette pushed me more in-depth in the hole named depression. Smoking and drinking leave us a short time to have a rest but long-lasting after-effects such as inappetence, feel sick usually, and no energy. The short break didn’t make me feel better because it was not a wise way; it was unhealthy and without safeguards.
The most important thing I found is that I should consider in the long-term but not just focus on the present. I have to distract my attention to other things even I don’t want to do it. Forcing myself and get a better feeling for the future.
It is hard to force yourself to jump out of your comfort zone, but it is necessary.
